Weakness

I have a horrible weakness for accents. Granted, that's not unusual. Many find accents charming. But I've been put into embarrassing situations because I've been too busy swooning to actually listen.

Case in point: Many moons ago, I was introduced to a friend of a friend of a friend. He was a lovely, charming British chap. I have a serious weakness for any and all British accents. (I'm worse with Irish and Scottish accents, though.)

During that first week, I saw him quite a few times. We were a close-knit group. Also a bored group since we lived in the sticks. We were often found at each other's apartments. I remember sitting there and turning into a drunken, lobotomized chimp-- no offense to any chimps out there. As hard as I might try, I couldn't wipe the idiotic grin off my face. I nodded, not hearing a word said, and oftentimes asking him to please repeat himself when I realized that the pause in conversation was my cue to reply. I sat in a puddle of my own drool, people. And these were my angry feminist years-- I'm still a feminist, but I've mellowed (translation: I don't hate men).

I finally had to stop him and tell him, "Look, I'm not actually stupid. Nor am I deaf. I'm sorry about drooling on your hand when I shook it. I have a horrible weakness for accents. I will try harder to listen to your actual words, rather than that adorable accent, in the future. " Yes, it was embarrassing to say, but it had to be done. He laughed his charming laugh and we got along smashingly after that.

I still have my drunken, lobotomized chimpanzee moments, but they are, thankfully, less frequent because who wants to have to explain why they've turned into a blithering idiot?